Roots: A Communal Journal

This year, our church has made "evangelism" its theme and focus. I am grateful for how our church's leadership has tried to present a robust view of what "evangelism" really means, and how it can be better understood and practiced. That has stoked some contemplation on my part, and through that, I have come to realize that I have a lot of reexamining and unlearning to do.  For most of my life in the church, I have listened to various Christian leaders, pastors, and theologians proclaim that the church’s "main mission" is evangelism. Innumerous outreach initiatives have been launched based on this assumed, obvious fact. Many people like me, raised in evangelical churches and settings, can tell their own evangelism stories. Sometimes, those stories are about highly-energizing, deeply wholesome, and humanizing interactions. Others times, they are marked by guilt-motivated, humiliating, even aggressive tactics towards complete strangers, friends, and relat...

My church has been studying Hebrews since last year. Recently, our pastor taught on Hebrews 12, where the author reminds his readers that God disciplines those whom he loves. That led to an extended and thoughtful sermon that distinguished three terms--punishment, discipline, and consequences--that parents (and people generally) tend to use interchangeably. I think it is fair to say that our pastor characterized "punishment" as problematic. He quoted from a  blog by Mark Bellanger which said the following: "Punishment is condemning. Discipline is correcting. Consequences are causational...Punishment is a punitive action done to make the offender repay the debt they have incurred. It is done for the benefit of the offended rather than for the offender." (there are a couple of other reflections and quotes in the article that more explicitly critique "punishment") Our pastor went on to say that punishment isn't about seeing reconciliation between the par...

"Not by might, nor by power, but by my...actually, scratch that. Sometimes, you just have to take power and get stuff done," says the Lord. "I, Paul, determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified...actually, that would never work. Forget that I ever said that." "If anyone would follow me, they must deny themselves, take up their cross and...you know what? What would that even accomplish? I'm sorry. So impractical." Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, was like, "Yes! Finally. I get to call the shots and get stuff done!" Jesus said to Peter, "Put your sword back in its...well, you know what? Go ahead use that thing to get stuff done!" Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Peter took him aside and rebuked him. And Jesus repented, saying, "You are right Peter, what was I thinking? W...

Here I am again. It's Sunday afternoon and I'm frustrated, angry, helpless, and lonely all at once. Like when the high school youth group gets a turn leading the musical worship: I'm trying to sing along but everything is just...off. Sometimes I wish I hated my church. It has been a painful journey but I am now at peace with sloughing off the "evangelical Christian" label. I no longer feel the discordant crush of contradictory feelings and beliefs that holding onto White American Evangelicalism forced me into. I feel a freedom to question everything and find a faith that is more beautiful, inclusive, and academically rigorous. I feel thinly restrained fury when I look at what the American church has become now that I am choosing to be an outsider. Being able to hate (or at least feel repelled by) the evangelical church has made it easy to discard. But I don't hate my church. My church is full of people who love fiercely. My church has urged vaccination and fol...

I am grateful to have grown under the loving care of two godly parents that shaped my imagination about God and his world.  Unfortunately, too many others like me grew up with other Christian pastors, teachers, friends, and mentors who taught that when things were going wrong in our lives or the lives of others—if life was not one moment of glory followed by another—there were two possible answers: either we were not doing all of the right things or we were not believing all the right things. A lack of faith, a misstep here or there, results in hardships and divine disfavor. Meanwhile, material blessing and convenience was a "sign" from God that we were walking in step with his purposes.   This conception of God has been showing up routinely in evangelical responses to the COVID pandemic.  Most people would call this superstition. It is certainly not the gospel. It’s ironic that for many like me, this kind of superstitious theology was not all t...

I have been disappointed to see so much fear mongering and hand wringing by Christians over the somewhat recent California rules , which restricts, among other things, singing and chanting in enclosed spaces, as well as larger indoor gatherings. The concern seems to be this: Christians have an scriptural obligation to gather together in the same physical space, and to sing in sufficiently large groups, even when they know that doing so poses significant risks to their communities and will likely extend the ongoing pandemic through further outbreaks. That's just stunning to me. Absolutely stunning. Certainly, the Bible teaches that we owe God our worship, and that worship often takes the form of singing. We're also not supposed to "forsake the assembly"  (Hebrews 10:25), and some have argued that refusing to meet in person is to do just that. But when we love our neighbors, when we walk the extra mile, when we become the servant of all, when we l...

As this pandemic continues and its effects take a toll on our communities and collective morale, I feel a responsibility to spur fellow white American evangelical Christians away from the grotesque roleplay of the political martyr--a role I admit we have been trained in for at least two generations--so that we can mobilize to meet our neighbors' needs. Churches should be thinking creatively and compassionately about how to bring healing where there is suffering, and to do so with the confidence that we are welcoming the presence of Jesus each step of the way. I am more convinced than ever that the white American evangelical church has utterly forgotten cruciformity --meaning that we are a people who, as Jesus taught, deny ourselves and carry our crosses. Said differently, we are a  people shaped by the cross and its implications.  I fear we have forgotten this basic truth, and along the way, our imaginations shriveled up. We have become so consumed with obtaining ...

[ The "National Memorial for Peace and Justice" located in Montgomery, AL ]   -- Note: In January, I  posted  what amounted to a public confrontation with my with experience growing up as a White American Evangelical, and more specifically, the anti-Christian, violent impulses which I believe animate much of that community's public and political behavior. It was an attempt to kick-off a series of self-examinations on how my upbringing has shaped my development, tainted my values, and affected even my most basic understandings of the Christian faith. This post is a continuation of that "confrontation" and examination--it was also my answer when I was asked recently what it means to be "white". I welcome your perspectives and insight. -- To talk about whiteness, I feel as though I have to begin with what Chanequa Walker-Barnes describes as the "great moral injury" at the heart of whiteness (see her book I Bring the Voices of My Peo...

Last month, in an attempt to explain white evangelical support for President Trump, Brit Hume of Fox News wrote the following: " And he's willing to fight ."  I have been thinking about this tweet for weeks now. It's become a kind of magnet for many of my wayward reflections on race, politics, faith, and my own white American evangelical culture. That is, at least in part, because I believe Hume unwittingly identified the central deception which has captured the imagination of white American evangelicals: they regard their place in the wider American culture in terms of combat . It is this error which has led the vast majority of white American evangelicals to believe that the POTUS is fighting alongside them. For some time now, I have been reflecting on evangelicalism—the culture of evangelicals—and white American evangelicalism in particular. I grew up in a white evangelical home. We were homeschooled, watched Veggie Tales , attended non-denomin...

Review:  Stanley Hauerwas The Character of Virtue: Letters to a Godson Eerdmans Publishing Co. (2018) ________________ Note: I plan to publish a monthly book review here on Roots. Each review will focus on a book I'm reading as a part of my devotions and studies. My hope is that these reviews will weave their way into conversations already happening here, spark some new ones, and maybe even point someone to a quality read.   -- On September 17, 2001, TIME magazine named Stanley Hauerwas "America's Best Theologian" . The irony of the award was likely lost to most. Hauerwas had spent his career calling the church away from the center of national attention and back to the margins. And in the shadow of 9/11, Hauerwas' lively and outspoken pacifism coupled awkwardly with the American thirst for vengeance.  Perhaps TIME hoped to highlight Americana ideals and virtues, but even then, the virtues Hauerwas championed had very little to do with America and e...

Today was like many other Sundays, except I woke up later than usual and was late for church. When I realized this, I immediately felt a sinking feeling in my gut. By the time I would get to church, I knew I would miss the worship set — my favorite part of Sunday service. I knew I might also miss our church’s prayer time, where we have the opportunity to publicly confess, pray, and praise together.  I lay in bed for awhile, considering whether to sneak in late and slide into a back pew or stay home, make eggs, and listen to a sermon online. Then I realized we would be continuing in our series on Ephesians 5, and the sinking feeling returned. I stayed up too late last night, and didn’t have the energy to parse through a passage that has sparked so much personal and communal controversy in my life. But I got up anyway, because I missed my people. I’m sure I will write another post discussing Ephesians 5, but for now, I celebrate my people. My church people are crazy....