Roots: A Communal Journal

Before I was anything, I was yours. Fearfully, wonderfully made, or something. But I wonder sometimes if you meant me to be this a half of something, a shadow of something, a flickering image of light or wrath or... something else entirely and I wonder if I am missing that part of cruciformity that looks like the cross because I don't want to bear anything anymore I just want to be back to that something Was I radiant? Was I free? Was I loved? Was I enough? Or am I just a fool, hoping for mirrors to tell me I am more than I am, more than a severed vine, rotting, worthless more than a shameful creature, cowering in the corner of the Garden more than someone else's Something this is your body, broken for us here's my body, broken for someone but here's my body, broken for nothing sorry, I know you wanted me to be something or was it Some Thing?  Someone's Some Thing? i can't remember but this is your blood, take I have been bleeding for three weeks straight and fe...

* These songs echo throughout our home all year, but especially during this season. -- Josh Garrels |  O Day of Peace  &  Come to Him O day of peace that dimly shines through all our hopes, and prayers, and dreams Guide us to justice, truth, and love Delivered from our selfish schemes May the swords of hate fall from our hands Our hearts from envy find release Till by God's grace our warring world shall see Christ's promised reign of peace Then shall the wolf dwell with the lamb Nor shall the fierce devour the small As beats and cattle calmly graze a little child Shall lead them all Then enemies shall learn to love All creatures find their true according The hope of peace shall be fulfilled For all the earth shall know the Lord Come to Him with all of your heart Come and lay your burdens down For peace he came to give and joy shall be the crown And joy shall be the crown

Photo by  Trevor Brown  on  Unsplash I am jet-lagged, but content. After an almost-five hour flight involving too much ginger ale and not enough water, I’m back where I grew up, in the Pacific Northwest, surrounded by trees and cars and mountains. There is something spiritually healthy about sleep-deprivation, I think. Biologically, our inhibitions are lowered and it’s harder for us to make thoughtful, conscious decisions — similar to the effects of drinking alcohol. In fact, one study showed that after 17 to 19 hours without sleep, participants’ [response speeds and accuracy] performance was equivalent or worse than that of a blood alcohol concentration (BAC) level of 0.05 percent. 1 Sleep deprivation is a natural occurrence that strips away our competence and our ability to control our emotions (among many other things). It reminds me that I can only do so much, that my body is a physical, spiritual thing with many needs and so few resources to meet them. It re...