Humility, Culture, and Power

I've had a lot of conversations recently with friends and coworkers in a similar stage of life - many of us are a few years into our careers, have enjoyed the work we've done so far, and thankfully, have found purpose in it. Many of us have been asked by coworkers, bosses, and parents about what's next. They ask: How will this be a stepping stone toward your next thing? What are you doing to take the next step in your career? How do you want to be known? How are you putting yourself out there to be seen and heard?

Those are hard questions to answer. But they're even harder because for some, it brings to light a tension in within ourselves and in culture that's hard to navigate.

For many of us, we grew up learning that humility meant that you sought not to recognize your own achievements, but to celebrate the success of a community. We were reminded to put others above self - that you always seek to recognize the contributions of others over your own. We were taught that your actions speak louder than words, and if you're really good at what you do, people will see and feel your impact, even if you never talk about it.

That understanding of humility has driven me to question those that didn't seem to play by those rules. I would scorn the "humbled and honored" posts on social media celebrating one's latest award or recognition. I'd question why someone would need to tell the world they got on some Forbes list, if they really believed their actions really did speak louder than their words.

But then, I wonder how much of that self-righteous judgment is just a manifestation of my own jealousy, or of a culture that is mine but not one I should subject others to?

Masked under an appearance of humility, I believe there's a little part of me that wants to be recognized. Maybe it's just me, but no matter how humble we believe we are, or should be, we want to be acknowledged for our work. There's something in us that believes hard work should be celebrated, and our impact elevated. Sometimes, this manifests itself in self-elevation masked in humility. Think of our parents that would brag about our achievements with their friends - I've always wondered whether they really were just celebrating us, or indirectly bragging about their parenting? Or how I'd always smile in embarrassment if someone talks about the good work I did on a project, secretly just wanting them to keep going?

What's even harder is the tension within us manifests itself in a society that often struggles to recognize the professional value of women and people of color. How, then, do we balance that kind of quiet humility with a workplace that finds it easier to recognize the successes of white men than virtually anyone else? Who am I to judge if someone else, who has been systematically discriminated against in the workplace, verbalizes their success because they simply want to be heard? Who am I to judge if someone, who has been passed over for promotion after promotion, is just asking for a fair shot? Who am I to judge if someone, whose innovative ideas never got the consideration they deserved, elevates themselves just to get a seat at the table?

Who gets to define how ambition and passion manifest themselves in the workplace? How does our lens by which we view someone's ambition change if we recognize the impact of power and white supremacy in the workplace?

I don't have an answer to these questions, but maybe there's an opportunity to think about how humility can manifest itself in different ways. How do culture and power change how we perceive someone to be humble? Is it possible that how we define humility and the actions we associate with it exacerbate the power of those in the majority culture?

I still struggle with this question, but this is why we write and process in community. So, maybe this is a question for our community - what does humility look like in your work? How do you practice humility within the context of culture and power?